HowToFoldSoup

This was posted on, and immediately removed from, Craigslist.  If anyone is interested, I can put you in contact with the poster.

    free belly button lint to worthy individual

    I hate to throw things away especially with gas prices being what they are. I was going to throw this little managerie of lint and hair away but thought perhaps someone out there has an "outtie" and would like to paste the lint to it in an effort to look more normal.

    Deciding who is worthy of a gift is never easy so I have decided to employ science to ease my burden. I am going to construct a target with many rings and the most worthy individuals will be placed closest to the center. Really hot chicks have top priority but having money helps alot too, basically if you could be on TV you have a chance. I know others will apply thinking they stand a chance but I assure you this world is really for rich pretty people.
    I am willing to meet somewhere but no "outtie" freaks near my house thank you very much. Of course reimbursement for my gas and incidental expenses are expected and the actual removal of the lint is the responsibility of the selected recipient. I have a history of breaking wind whilst being tickled so any errant gases or spontaneous emissions of any kind will need to be tended to by recipient (cleaning deposit required).

        * this is in or around my navel